A beautiful, empowering VBAC for this second time Mum...
My first baby ended up being a planned c section after we found out at 36 weeks he was breech. I tried to get him to move head down on my own but he was very cosy as he was. I still was able to use some of the hypnobirthing techniques as my waters went at 37+6 and I had hours of labouring before he arrived safely the next day at 38 weeks exactly. It was still a very incredible birth experience but for our next baby I really wanted a vaginal delivery.
When I was pregnant the next time I was asked if I wanted a c section or a vaginal delivery, a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean.) I was very keen to have a vaginal delivery unless there was a medical reason that that wasn’t the safest thing. But my midwife and a consultant who I had a phone call with were very supportive that if I wanted a vaginal delivery there was no reason that couldn’t be the case.
My husband and I practiced some of the hypnobirthing techniques we had done first time round, admittedly not as much as we had done previously as we now had an energetic two year old who occupied most of our time!
My first baby had arrived ‘early’ at 38 weeks, a very reasonable weight of 8lbs 6oz. So I knew there was a chance this baby could arrive early, but I told myself they were coming at 42 weeks so I wasn’t disappointed.
As the weeks went along I was getting uncomfortable and tired while also chasing my toddler around. We were brave and joined friends at a weekend away when I was 38+4 weeks. My first had arrived by this time, but we didn’t want to put life off ‘just in case’. I’m glad we did because although hospital bag was packed and with us just in case it wasn’t needed and baby stayed contently inside.
At my later midwife appointments I was offered a stretch and sweep, which I declined. I wanted baby to arrive when they were ready, just like my first.
In my 39th week of pregnancy I was getting some pretty persistent cramping, I was able to breath and remain calm throughout. But then after hours of what felt like contractions they’d stop and I’d assume- Braxton Hicks.
At my 40 week appointment we spoke again about induction. I declined and we made a plan that at 41+6 I would go in for an induction if baby hadn’t arrived. I so didn’t want that to happen, and I just had to remain calm and hope baby would arrive of their own accord beforehand.
The next day the cramps in my lower abdomen and back started up again, we went for a family walk in the woods in the evening and I was walking and breathing, really feeling this could ‘be it’ but after a few hours they stopped and again I felt disheartened. It felt like my body was playing tricks on me. I had a nice candle lit bath and ate some mini eggs whilst watching one of my favourite TV shows to cheer me up.
The next day I was getting more twinges, not as intense. I kept assuming it was all Braxton Hicks.
Then the next day, I was feeling particularly tired and fed up, I tried to rest as much as I could and as it was Good Friday we visited family who were visiting my parents. We had a nice evening with family and lots of guessing when baby would arrive, I didn’t think it would be soon and kept trying to remain patient.
We got home and got our toddler to bed and did the usual tidy up before crawling into bed ourselves at about 10pm. I just heard my husband fall asleep when some cramping started up. I just laid in bed breathing through the cramps and tried to sleep, sure that they would all disappear like they had previously.
Hours went by and they weren’t slowing down, and for some strange reason I was visiting the loo so much. At about 2am I decided to try the TENS machine I had borrowed from a friend and got back into bed to rest as the cramps came and went frequently. About an hour later I decided I wanted to be on my feet and I put on some LED candles around the room and listened to my music playlist in my headphones while I used the TENS machine and just swayed side by side. I decided not to wake my husband because I was in a bit of a groove just listening to my body and if this was the real deal I wanted him to be as rested as possible.
About 5am I went downstairs and used my birthing ball, listened to my playlist or one of my favourite comedy shows- The Office US. I had my candle going.
I just breathed through it all.
At 6am I text my husband to say “come downstairs when you read this.” About 10 minutes later he appeared, eager eyes. I explained that this was probably it and contractions were about 3 minutes apart. He called the hospital who then wanted to speak to me, they asked if I’d felt any pain in my c section scar, and because I had along with me not knowing if I’d felt baby move much overnight (I was a little distracted) they asked us to come in as soon as we could.
My husband called my Mum who got in the car to come and collect our toddler. My husband got our toddler up and dressed and explained Gran Gran was on his way to pick him up because the baby was coming soon.
I kept on breathing and moving and felt a little annoyed we had to go to the hospital so soon, the hospital was a 30 minute drive away and I didn’t want to be examined and deemed not far along enough and sent home. But if there was any concern over me or baby I wanted to trust that it was right to go in.
I gave our toddler a big cuddle as I knew the next time I saw him he would feel so big. I felt very emotional as he’d never spent a night away from us and I knew that this could be the first time for that.
My Mum collected our toddler and came and gave me a big hug. I was able to chat to her normally between contractions and even through some and explained I didn’t think I was very far along. Everything I had read said when it was time to get to hospital you knew it. I still wasn’t 100% certain baby was coming, I thought at any minute it would all stop and I’d feel silly for the false alarm.
We set off for the hospital, I had an eye mask on to keep it dark and calm and listened to Daisy’s hypnobirthing tracks in my headphones. We set off on the journey, I just remember moaning in a very low tone during contractions and them getting closer together. I didn’t want to take my eye mask off so I remember trying to piece the journey together by roundabouts and traffic lights to gauge how long was left, it was definitely more uncomfortable in the car than at home, as I felt lots of pressure below.
We arrived shortly after 8am and as it was Good Friday and early the car park was empty (this never happens, it’s always full and sometimes you have to wait until someone leaves to get a space!)
I wandered into the unit and breathed and swayed and waited for husband who took longer than I expected, he told me later that for some reason the car wouldn’t lock so he ended up having to leave it unlocked but he didn’t want to worry me so just plodded along as if all was fine.
We went upstairs to the maternity unit. We walked around to the desk and they asked some details, the midwife looked at me and suggested she push me in the wheelchair to my room. I remember thinking that seemed excessive because I was probably only 2cm dilated but I was pretty tired as I hadn’t slept that night, I accepted.
I had my eye mask on still and listened to my music and tracks.
We got to the room, the midwife voice seemed friendly and she asked if she could examine me to see where things were at. To my surprise I was 10cm dilated and fully effaced. I couldn’t believe it.
My birth preferences said I wanted an unmedicated birth with only gas and air if requested. She checked with me if there was anything I wanted in that time as I’d stated a water birth. But in the moment I was happy to stay out of water because what I was doing was working so far.
They all praised my efforts and she suggested she give me an hour of pushing as I felt and after that they would help me if I needed it.
I had no idea what I was doing but I just leant over the bed and breathed and tried to push as my body felt it needed to.
After an hour I was feeling pretty exhausted, the midwife rubbed my back and that felt amazing! I reached the point I’d read about where I honestly felt I couldn’t do it. They reminded me that meant my baby was nearly here and my husband kept cheering me on. I felt so tired that I could barely stand anymore and I opted to lay down and continue pushing in a different position. The midwives were so supportive of my birth preferences and really helped keep me calm. Every time I said I couldn’t do it, they challenged me and told me I could. I had to keep chanting “I CAN do this” because my mind was telling me I couldn’t.
I’d taken my headphones off at this point so I could hear more and my playlist was playing aloud.
There was a very funny moment where my playlist had ended and Spotify played a random song, which happened to be Yellow by Coldplay so the lyrics “When you try your best but you don’t succeed” came singing over the room. We all had a giggle and my husband quickly got my music playing again!
Despite doing perineal massage during my last few weeks of pregnancy, my perineum was very tight and baby wasn’t coming, to try and avoid a very significant tear they suggested an episiotomy. Which I accepted.
Soon after the head was delivered, I felt down and touched this squishy thing and I couldn’t believe it was their head!
The shoulders delivered but unfortunately their tummy got stuck, it was the only time I’d felt apprehensive but with a bit of maneuvering from the midwives baby was born! I took my eye mask off and husband announced we had a daughter. I was so surprised and over the moon. A son and now a daughter.
She was passed straight to my chest and waited until the cord stopped pulsing before my husband cut it. I was so relieved she was here safely.
She had pooed so needed to be monitored and unfortunately I had a tear which required repairing in theatre by a Dr and also significant blood loss.
But she remained with me throughout and we enjoyed the golden hour of skin to skin including her first breast feed in the room she was born.
She was also a beautiful 9lbs and 9oz.
The midwives told me I was a superhero and to be honest delivering her completely unmedicated, I felt like a superhero.
I had been so gutted I couldn’t have a vaginal delivery the first time, as I always wanted to see what I was capable of and having heard incredible birth stories and some more traumatic ones, I wanted to see what I could achieve with my birth story.
The fact I arrived at hospital ready to push still makes me smile- maybe thinking it could be Braxton Hicks helped me not get worried or stuck in my head.
I just tuned into my body, laboured through the night in a relaxed way and I’m so overjoyed with the experience. It got a little hairy right before she was born and I did have a three day stay at hospital for aftercare for me but I wouldn’t change a thing. Thankful for the NHS and my wonderful midwife who honoured my birth preferences and tried to give me the exact birthing experience I wanted.
Are you looking to prepare for a birth where you feel supported, calm and intuitive?
My next Hypnobirthing course in Newbury is now booking- only 2 spaces left. I specialise in supporting a wide variety of pregnancies including those like above considered “higher risk”