10 Things I Wish All First-Time Mums Knew About Birth

1. Birth isn’t something that just “happens” to you

Your body and baby are working together. Birth isn’t passive — you’re an active part of it. Understanding that partnership changes everything, and allows you to work with your body and your baby

2. Movement is your friend

Freedom of movement in labour- moving where your body tells you, most often in an upright, forwards positions, will not only allow you to labour more comfortably, but it will make your labour more efficient- you have gravity on your side, your babies head will be pushing against your cervix helping it to open, and for the pushing stage you can actually create up to 30% more space in your pelvis for your baby to be born. Free, instinctive movement to support you and your baby

3. Fear makes labour harder — calm makes it easier

This is not a myth- this is science backed fact. When you’re tense, adrenaline floods your system, your muscles tense up, bloody is diverted away from your uterus and baby, and labour feels tougher and is less efficient, meaning it can take longer. When you’re calm, feeling safe and relaxed, your body releases oxytocin and endorphins — your natural labour hormones. That’s where hypnobirthing tools make such a difference.

4. A Doula can be invaluable

A doula is a trained birth companion who offers emotional, physical, and practical support throughout labour. Unlike midwives or doctors, they don’t provide medical care — their role is to focus solely on you and your partner.

Research shows that having continuous support from a doula can reduce the likelihood of interventions, shorten labour, and increase overall satisfaction with the birth experience. 

If hiring a doula isn’t an option, preparing your birth partner with hypnobirthing tools so they are confident in supporting you is essential

5. Your birth partner can change everything

When your partner understands how to support you — with words, touch, environment, advocating — it makes you feel safe, confident, and cared for. Your partner plays an essential role in your birth, make sure they feel confident and clear on how best to support you. Even if you have a doula present, your partner still plays as essential role in your birth. She is there to support you both on this journey 

6. Hospitals work for you

It can sometimes feel like you’re just following the system, but remember: you’re the decision-maker. You can always ask questions, request alternatives, ask for more information, or say “I’d like a minute to decide.”

I really recommend you check out AIMS (Association for Improvements in the Maternity Services) for brilliant information on birth rights. The NHS website also has a clear breakdown of your options in the UK, but remember every single thing offered during your pregnancy and birth is an option

7. Your breath is more powerful than you realise

Simple breathing techniques have been proven to reduce pain perception, help your muscles work more efficiently, keep you more relaxed which helps you labour more comfortably and keeps you focused during contractions. Sounds small, but it’s transformational.

8. Your due date is just an estimate

Only 4% of babies actually arrive “on time.” Your baby will come when they’re ready — and that’s completely normal. The average time window for baby to arrive is between week 37-42. Patience if your friend

9. Positive doesn’t mean perfect

A positive birth isn’t about ticking boxes or sticking rigidly to a plan. It’s about feeling calm, safe, and respected — no matter how your baby arrives.

10. You are stronger than you think

Birth can feel daunting, but your body was designed for this. Time and again, I see women surprise themselves with just how powerful they really are. If we believed in our strength more, it could transform how we experience pregnancy and birth. Yes, birth is hard. But you know what- you CAN do hard things.